All Luffy's Fault
by BubbleGumYum10
Summary: It all started when Luffy asked Zoro what a certain phrase meant. What followed, was completely unintentional, and yet absolutely hilarious.


**Oh man, I'm already asking myself what the heck I just wrote. Oh man... No intended Zoro/Sanji. **

**Disclaimer: The characters and places and etc that I mentioned in this story belong to Eiichiro Oda, and whoever else owns them. **

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"Oi, Zoro, what does it mean to fuck someone?"

The green-haired swordsman choked on his drink, the brown liquid spewing forward from his mouth in a comical display of surprise. The small captain,who was the unintentional cause of his choking friend, was perched on the railing of the Thousand Sunny watching as Zoro attempted to get some much needed oxygen back into his lungs.

"Ne, Zoro, why did you choke? Are you an idiot?" Luffy rocked back and forth precariously on his perch, as his first-mate turned around in anger. "Shut up, you moron! This is your fault!" Noticing his captain's proximity to the dangerous water's below, he added, "And stop doing that! Do you wanna fall in?!"

Luffy frowned, but jumped down nonetheless and walked up to the older man. "No it's not. I just asked you what it means to fuck someone," he replied innocently, not intending to make Zoro turn bright red, which is just what he did. In fact, the ex-pirate hunter's face was so red that it made his entire person seem to be decorated in Christmas attire.

"Stop saying that," he demanded of the younger man, while taking a few steps backward. Luffy, not noticing, or pretending, not to notice Zoro's discomfort, followed him, an inquiring look on his rubbery face. "Stop saying what? Fuck?" Zoro's face turned scarlet as he turned around and ran down the steps, descending onto the lush grass of the ship. Luffy following close behind.

"Yes! That! Don't say it!"

"Eeeeehhhh?! But why not?!"

"Because I said so!"

"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!"

"Luffy!"

Realizing that escape was futile when dealing with Monkey D. Luffy, he chose to stop running, and turned around to face his captain, wishing in vain that his face would go back to it's normal, tan coloring. "Where the hell did you even hear that?" The swordsman questioned of the man in front of him. Said man tilted his head to the side, his trademark strawhat nearly falling off as he did it. Then, his face lit up as he remembered the answer to the question.

"I heard it from Nami and Robin!"

"What?"

"Yup! They were talking about you and Sanji! And then Nami said that you really wanted to fuck him, but he wouldn't let you."

If Zoro's face was red before, it was a volcano now. The red reached not only his nose, but his ears as well, turning him into some sort of a living tomato.

"Eh, Zoro? Why are you all red? Do you really want to fuck Sanji?"

The swordsman screamed in exasperation and raced past his captain, running to the nearest room that was available to hide in, which happened to be one of the two bathrooms on the ship. But, since lady luck seemed to have a person vendetta against him that day, he ran in and turned the lock shut just as a certain blond-haired cook stepped out of the shower, body lacking any form of clothes what so ever. Sanji looked up just as Zoro did, blue eyes meeting black ones a split second before all hell broke loose.

Usopp, who had chosen that very moment to walk across the deck, a fishing rod in his hands, turned his head to the side just as Zoro flew through the bathroom door, literally demolishing said door as he landed a few feet away. He stood shock still, eyeballing the swordsman on the ground, before turning his gaze to Sanji, who stalked out of the now door-less bathroom, a towel wrapped around his thin waist.

Said cook stomped over to the swordsman, lifted his foot, and sent it flying into the spot no man wants to be hit. As Zoro rolled onto his stomach, making painful groaning noises, Sanji, without saying a word, walked past Usopp and headed into the boys bunk room, slamming the door shut behind him.

A grinning Luffy walked up to Zoro, as Usopp just stood there, to shocked to continue on his trek to the side of the ship. His captain leaned forward above Zoro, and asked, with a hint of confusion in his voice, "Is that what usually happens when you fuck someone?"

He received a imprint of Zoro's fist on his face as an answer to his question.


End file.
